


when the winter's in full swing (and your dreams just aren't coming true)

by IncognitoDuck11



Category: Pretty Little Liars
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Anti-Ezra, Drama, F/F, Friends With Benefits, No A, Oral Sex, Smut, Strap-Ons
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-13
Updated: 2021-01-13
Packaged: 2021-03-16 17:20:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,595
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28710354
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IncognitoDuck11/pseuds/IncognitoDuck11
Summary: Spencer's leaning against the wall in a loud room crammed with sweaty people, nursing a red solo cup filled with cheap, awful beer and wondering why on earth she came to this stupid party, when she sees her for the first time in months.
Relationships: Spencer Hastings/Aria Montgomery
Comments: 5
Kudos: 7





	when the winter's in full swing (and your dreams just aren't coming true)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [gyruum](https://archiveofourown.org/users/gyruum/gifts).



> Enjoy the angst lmao

-.-.-.-

Spencer's leaning against the wall in a loud room crammed with sweaty people, nursing a red solo cup filled with cheap, awful beer and wondering why on earth she came to this stupid party, when she sees her for the first time in months. Aria's across the room on an ugly leather couch, her tongue down a pretty, pink-haired girl's throat, and there are hoots and hollers from the skeevy high school boys surrounding them. Spencer's throat feels tight. She didn't know Aria was into girls, but she maybe shouldn't be surprised. Maybe her old best friend is just drunk. 

That's not the case, she later learns, when she sees Aria sitting alone in the deserted entryway, next to a large pile of coats. Mascara is streaking her cheeks, and she looks like she's having a crisis. Spencer thinks it's an awfully bad time to say hi, but she approaches her anyway, asks her what she's doing at a Hollis party. 

“What are _you_ doing here?” Aria slurs at her, sniffling. “This isn’t your scene, Spence.” 

Spencer makes an effort to chuckle in a non-awkward sort of way, crossing her arms defensively across her chest. “I know, I just… needed to live a little, I guess. Are you okay?”

“My boyfriend and I broke up,” is all Aria says, all she _needs_ to say, and Spencer scrapes her off the floor, props her tiny, staggering body upright and takes her home. Spencer tucks her in bed and let's her cry on her shoulder for a good couple of hours, because she's having conflicting feelings about her sexuality and she doesn't know who she is anymore. It's midnight when she finally falls asleep, puffy eyed and exhausted. Spencer slips her shoes back on and makes to leave, slipping out into the sleet that’s started to fall.

-.-.-.-

Spencer already knows that she's attracted to women, too, but she doesn't realize just how lonely she is until she's dialing Aria's number in the middle of the night. Midnight again. It's rude to call so late, but Aria picks up as if they've actually kept in touch since Ali died, and it's nothing out of the ordinary that she's calling at inappropriate hours. Aria sounds somewhat better, and she thanks Spencer for driving her home the other night, and Spencer lets an awkward silence drag on a little too long before Aria breaks in abruptly and asks if she wants to come over. 

Spencer accepts, of course, because they're sort of friends, and maybe she's been a bit desperate for human interaction lately, and what can go wrong? With a mix of Aria’s parents’ wine and jumbled up feelings, a lot apparently. 

Aria kisses her first, and Spencer kisses back, and her heart lights up for the first time in a long time. Aria's hands are shaking as she unbuttons Spencer's shirt, and she tugs at Spencer's hair when they stumble up to Aria’s bedroom and Spencer pins her thighs open. After, they just talk, and cuddle, and it's snowing outside and Aria's whispering about squandered dreams and Spencer's holding her close to her chest, brushing kisses to her temple.

-.-.-.- 

Orange stripes of afternoon sunlight fall across the room, and Spencer's buried between Aria's thighs, fingers hooked in her pretty pink knee socks. Aria feels guilty about what they're doing, but it's not like they're cheating together. Ezra—her boyfriend, their _English_ _teacher_ , Spencer has come to find out—is old news, and Spencer says hateful things about him as she licks into her, tongue delving between her folds, nose bumping up against her clit. She's _so_ fucking wet, and it slicks Spencer's chin as she buries herself deeper. Aria grips her hair tightly, tugging as she bucks her hips and comes hard.

She pulls Spencer's polo shirt on afterwards, strides in her sock feet to the kitchen for coffee. And Spencer's never felt better. 

-.-.-.- 

“ _What_ ?” Spencer blurts, feeling sick to her stomach as Aria tells her exactly _why_ she broke up with Ezra, and it’s not because she needed to figure out her sexuality. 

It’s because he was writing a book about their dead best friend. 

And Aria found the evidence in his bedside drawer, rummaging through it while looking for a fucking condom of all things. She’d picked up a little notebook and flipped idly through it, and Ezra had grabbed it out of her hands from his place on the bed, but not before she saw Alison’s full name and a bunch of theories about her death written inside. 

“He used me,” Aria sobs. “I’m such an idiot.” 

Spencer coos at her, pulls her into her arms. “You’re not an idiot,” she says firmly. “Men like him are.”

-.-.-.-

Rolling her hips hard and fast, Spencer keeps a tight hold on the crook of Aria's left knee, bending it so she can thrust in at a deeper angle. She digs her short fingernails into Aria's calf, using her free hand to steady herself against the mattress as she works up a sweat. 

Aria's breathing heavily beneath her, her neck straining as Spencer plants wet, rough kisses all along it, sucks at her pulse point hard enough to bruise. It gives her some wicked satisfaction to know that she'll have to hide the mark, to know that it'll be right there under his nose, as he stares at Aria across the classroom like the rejected fucker that he is. _Ha_ , she'll think, watching him watch her. _Take that, you fucking creep._

"You're mine," she hisses in Aria's ear, "Understand?" 

And Aria nods eagerly, moaning, her fingernails scraping along Spencer's bare back hard enough to break skin. Spencer shivers at the feeling.

She feels lightheaded, stays buried in Aria's neck for a minute as she tries to focus on keeping a rhythm, listening to the wet sounds of their hips colliding. The bedframe is rocking, the headboard thudding against the wall, and thank _god_ Aria's family isn't home to hear the noise. 

"Fuck!" Aria finally squeaks, throwing her head back, fingernails digging in so violently that Spencer has to grit her teeth to keep from crying out. She lifts her head to watch Aria's face, the gape of her mouth, the pinch of her eyebrows, the utter pleasure in her eyes as she's pushed over the edge. Spencer trains her gaze on Aria's, keeping their eyes locked as she feels her friend start to tremble beneath her. 

"That's it, babe," she husks, leaning in to whisper it into her ear. "Let it go for me."

She thinks anyone else might have compared her to a delicate flower, feeling her shake like this, but Spencer knows better, knows that Aria is a fucking lion of a girl. Knows it because Aria's teeth sink into her shoulder, her claws dig into her back, and every muscle in her body feels taut and powerful against Spencer's own as she comes. She could never feel tiny like this, drawing Spencer in until she can barely breathe, holding her down like something she might consume, if it strikes her fancy. 

And then her body goes slack, sinks back into the mattress, and Spencer slows her pace to a stop, keeping the strap-on sheathed inside her as Aria pulls her into a warm, tight embrace, her legs wrapped around the small of Spencer's back. Spencer blinks, sweat stinging her eyes, and nuzzles her friend's neck, pressing their damp, naked bodies firmly together. 

"Spence…" breathes Aria, after a long moment. "That was… wow." 

Spencer chuckles, the sound a low rumble in her chest, and then nips at Aria's earlobe. "Did he ever fuck you like that?" she asks, vitriol spilling into her tone. "Hmm?" 

"No," Aria says quietly. 

"No?" Spencer repeats, like it's a surprise. Of course he didn't. "But you like being fucked, don't you? You like taking it hard and fast like a dirty little slut?"

Aria's hands slip up to knot in her hair, tugging hard, and Spencer bares her teeth against the crook of Aria's neck. "Yes," she practically whines, and Spencer can feel her chest heave. "God, _yes_ , Spencer." 

Spencer gets hit with a surge of pride, puffing up a little at the confession. "You're mine," she repeats, feeling downright possessive. "No one else's." 

"I'm yours." Aria clutches her tighter, hanging onto her like they're plunging into an abyss together. And maybe they are. 

But Spencer couldn’t care less. 

-.-.-.-

It feels like her heart is being ripped out of her chest. 

The paper coffee cup slips out of her hand, hits the floor and splashes all over her canvas high-tops, sinks into the fabric, warm like blood. “Shit!” she cries, jumping back, and it’s enough of a scene that Aria breaks away from Ezra’s lips and turns to look. Her eyes fill with panic, and it’s not because Spencer just spilled scalding hot coffee everywhere. 

“Spence!” Aria says, a plea, but tears are welling up in Spencer’s eyes and she turns around to leave. Only a barista rushes over to dab at the spill with a towel, fussing over her, and when he raises up, Spencer grabs his collar and kisses him out of pure spite, throwing a hateful glance over her shoulder when she breaks away from the very smitten, blue-eyed boy. 

Toby, she thinks his name is. They go to school together. 

-.-.-.- 

The first thing she does when she gets home is block Aria’s number. 

Not because she’s being petty, but because her heart hurts and she doesn’t want to hear whatever explanation Aria comes up with. She _saw_ Aria lean in, saw her kiss him like she couldn’t breathe without him. 

The next thing she does is break into her dad’s liquor cabinet. 

-.-.-.- 

Toby is nice. There are perks to being with him. For one, she can actually introduce him to her parents, just so they know she’s not a complete loser when it comes to dating. She doesn't care about status like they do, but they’ve been on her back lately, asking if there are any cute _guys_ she’s interested in. Of course they don’t mention girls, but Spencer thinks they’re on to her anyway, just hoping to god that she’s straight. 

Toby’s a real gentleman, too, asks for permission every step of the way when they have sex for the first time. It doesn’t matter that he feels wrong inside of her, that she keeps her eyes closed and thinks wincingly of anything else when he comes, that she feels sore when he pulls out. It doesn’t matter that there’s blood on the toilet paper when she uses the bathroom afterwards. 

Because he’s _safe_ , and she’s certainly not letting Aria back in. 

-.-.-.- 

Weeks later, she checks her texts in the unknown number folder and immediately regrets it. There are about twenty apologies, all signed from Aria. 

She doesn’t respond. 

-.-.-.-

But she can’t ice her out forever apparently, and Aria just doesn’t know when to stop. Spencer should have known. 

She should have known _not_ to answer the door. But here she is, standing in the doorway like an idiot, staring at a teary-faced Aria. 

“I don’t want to talk to you,” she says. She starts to shut the door, but Aria catches it. 

“Spencer, wait,” Aria blurts, pushing inside and past Spencer into the living room. “I’m _sorry_. It was a mistake.” 

Spencer scoffs, turning around to glare at Aria. “Right. You accidentally ran into his mouth with yours or something?”

“I kissed him because I was _confused_ ,” Aria insists, looking utterly pitiful, like she might throw herself down at Spencer’s feet and start begging for forgiveness. 

“You weren’t very ‘confused’ when you were with me,” Spencer throws back at her. 

Aria shrugs helplessly. “He… he has a way with words, Spence.”

Spencer’s anger wells up inside of her, and she starts to yell. “He _used_ you, Aria! How could you even _think_ about taking him back after that?” 

“I don’t know!” Aria snaps, tears sliding down her cheeks. “I’m stupid, I know that. But he’s still writing the book, Spencer. And I want to turn him in.” 

This catches Spencer off guard. “Turn him in?” she asks. “Why?” 

“For trying to take advantage of me! I was using his laptop and I stumbled across a document. It has… things he shouldn’t know in it. Things I haven’t told him about Ali and you and me and even Hanna and Emily. He’s writing about us like we’re fictional.” 

Spencer feels her stomach turn. She grabs her car keys from the sideboard. “Let’s go turn that fucker in.” 

-.-.-.- 

They stay to watch the police bring him in, and Spencer feels no pity for the man as he passes by in handcuffs, glaring at them. 

When she and Aria are leaving, crossing the parking lot, Aria stops her. 

“Spence,” she says quietly. “I am sorry. _Really_.” 

The weight of a decision settles on Spencer’s shoulders. She can choose Aria, she supposes, but that comes with forgiving her. Toby is much safer. There are plenty of boys and girls out there for Aria to cheat on her with, anyway, and there aren’t many reasons why Spencer should trust her after this. 

“I…” She swallows, thinking of Toby. She could break his heart, leave him for Aria. He’s a good guy; he doesn’t deserve that. “I have a boyfriend now.” 

Aria’s hopeful face falls. 

-.-.-.- 

It doesn’t take long for she and Toby to break up. Spencer is going insane trying to fake it, and Toby, sweet as he can be, is _smothering_ her. He knows something is wrong probably, especially since the time she cried during sex because it had fucking _hurt_. She can’t keep doing this, so she tells him everything instead. 

“Can we still be friends?” she asks him, frustratedly wiping tears off her face. “You’re a good guy, Tobes.” 

His eyes are sorrowful, but he nods. “I just need some time first, Spencer. You… figure things out with Aria.” 

And Spencer sighs. Because of course she’s going to have to figure things out with Aria.

-.-.-.- 

Sheepishly, Spencer knocks on the Montgomerys’ front door. Aria’s parents’ cars aren’t there, so she figures it’s safe enough to assume Aria’s home alone. Unless Mike is there, in which case Spencer will definitely ask if they can take a drive. 

Aria answers a moment later, and looks surprised when she sees Spencer standing there. 

“Hey,” Spencer says.

“Hi.” 

“Is Mike home? I need to talk to you.” 

“No,” Aria says, pulling the door open wider. “Come in.” 

Spencer shoves her hands in her pockets, crosses the threshold. The house smells like apple pie. 

“Are you baking?” she asks conversationally, because anything is better than what she came here to talk about. 

“Yeah.” Aria shifts on her feet, awkwardly. “What did you come here to talk about?” 

“Well… I broke up with Toby.” 

Aria looks taken aback. “Oh. Shit, I’m sorry, Spencer. That’s rough.” 

“No, no,” Spencer says. “It was… amicable.” 

She hates this. Hates feeling like a stranger around a girl she’s had sex with, a girl she… _loves_. 

“So you’re okay?” Aria asks just as Spencer blurts:

“I want to be with you.” 

Aria blinks. “What?” 

“I forgive you,” Spencer tells her. “And I want to be with you, if you’ll have me.” 

“Spencer, I…” 

“I know what I said, but I didn’t mean it. I can’t pretend anymore.” 

Aria’s eyes are shiny with tears. “I… I’m seeing someone. We’re… happy.” 

Spencer feels her heart shatter. “Oh,” she says simply. “Good for you.”

And then she turns around and leaves.

-.-.-.-

**Author's Note:**

> The only satisfying thing about this fic is that they send Ezra to jail. Sorry not sorry? Feel free to yell at me in a comment :D


End file.
